Should Uncle Bob Officiate Your Wedding Ceremony?

The trend of having friends or family members officiate weddings has gained popularity, often referred to in the wedding industry as the “Uncle Bob” officiant—a nod to the informal, non-professional nature of this role.

Couples opt for Uncle Bob as their officiant primarily for two reasons: they seek a personal connection and wish to save money. Organizations offering instant ordinations promote the idea that “anybody can officiate a wedding,” but is this truly the case?

Let’s start with the legal requirements, which vary by state. In North Carolina, a wedding can be performed by a magistrate or by any minister who is ordained in a religious denomination or authorized by a church. However, instant ordinations, like those from the Universal Life Church, have been rejected repeatedly in NC courts due to their lack of substantial requirements.

Even with a valid ordination, Uncle Bob must accurately complete the marriage license—a bureaucratic endeavor fraught with potential pitfalls. While mistakes might not void the marriage, rectifying errors can be nightmarish.

Some couples choose a courthouse ceremony for the legal aspects, but this can detract from the excitement of the wedding day and raise questions about when to reveal their legal marriage status.

As for the personal connection, while Uncle Bob may be a wonderful person, officiating requires knowledge, skills, and experience often lacking in amateurs. Amateur officiants may overlook crucial details, leading to awkward or disappointing ceremonies.

Professional wedding officiants provide not only expertise but also a genuine connection with couples, often forming strong bonds in a short time. While some couples are surprised by the cost of a professional officiant, the investment ensures a meticulously crafted ceremony—one that is unique and unforgettable.

Ultimately, entrusting Uncle Bob with such a crucial role may not be ideal. However, for those set on this path, resources like the “Officiant Starter Kit” offer guidance and legal reassurance.

So, whether you choose a professional officiant or Uncle Bob, make sure your ceremony reflects the significance of your commitment and the love you share.

~ Philip Lingle

More resources:

1. The Truth About Online Ordinations in NC (a 3-minute blog post all about this topic)
2. Spirit of Love Ministry: Ordination Application (look for the “Officiant Starter Kit” option)